“Is How I am Looking at Things in My Relationships, in My Work, in My Life Working for Me?”
Why is this question important to ask? Because it creates power in our ability to create our own happiness, decrease our suffering, and live a fully engaged life.
Asking the question, allows us to tap into possibilities only found though our Observer.
The Observer we are sees those around us, sees ourselves, and sees actions for our path ahead. What happens, then, when we aren’t getting the results we want? What can we do about it?
The Results We Get in Life are Due in a Large Part to the Actions We Take or Don’t Take.
What happens when I try to get the results I’m after, and after several different actions I still haven’t achieved the result I wanted? I’m out of options, right? No.
The situation requires a different view, a different perspective, or a different way of looking at it. We must change the Observer we are; change the filters we see our world through. We must change the Observer we are in that specific situation.
Think of it like this:
When I’m stuck on a problem, and someone else enters the room and gives me a suggestion and I say, “I didn’t SEE it that way”, a new possibility has just been created. Why? Because me, as the Observer, has been changed. I see something I didn’t see before, and now I can take an action I didn’t know I previously had available.
New Sight Creates New Possibilities.
The actions we take are in a large part based on the Observer we are. The way we SEE things comes before the actions we take. In other words, we first frame a situation on how we see it, and then second, create a particular set of actions to deal with it. Just because I have exhausted all my actions does NOT mean there are no possibilities left.
We must challenge our tendency to say, “I see things as exactly they are.” Seeing something “exactly as it is” comes from our traditions, judgments, and beliefs. Our Observer from this place creates a unique reality that may or may not be shared with someone else.
My reality, and yours, has more to do with us as an Observer and what we see, than what objectively exists in front of us. Albert Einstein said, “We see the world not as it is, but as we are.”
I’m Different From You and You From Me.
Think of it like this; where I stand (what I “see”) matters. If you are at the top of the Grand Canyon looking across it, and I am at the bottom of the Grand Canyon looking across it, what we each see is vastly different, yet it is one and the same canyon.
When I can recognize that what I am observing is happening from my unique set of concerns, my perspective, and my beliefs, I can choose to become conscious of how I am observing. This allows me to make profound shifts in the actions I can take and the results I can produce.
If we don’t produce the results we want, we have 3 options:
- Do nothing- this is a position of no power. It could be considered victim hood.
- Change our actions within the Observer we currently are. These actions are finite.
- Change the way we are looking at things, which involves questioning our Observer, putting our Observer into the equation of what we see, and challenging what our Observer is telling us he sees.
Do you believe you can actually change the Observer you are? Do you believe that making these changes creates new ways of seeing the world and seeing your situation? Will seeing your situation differently lead to new actions and results?
Well, let me ask you. Are you the same Observer now as you were at 18? What factors can you attribute to this? The world around you didn’t change as much as you changed within the world. What you see changed based on the observer you became.
If you feel it is time to look at the observer you are today, to find new ways to see your situation, to discover new actions to take to move forward, then contact me.
We all bring a unique set of concerns and beliefs to the table of our Observer. I can help you thoughtfully unpack, examine, and choose what serves you today and what doesn’t. In that process you will find the ability to create the Observer in you that discovers new possibilities and takes new actions for whatever it is you face today.
You may also like to read, “Wound as a Gift.”