So how real can we be with each other here men? What is your comfort level discussing your penis with another guy? I have to believe it is an important topic, yet one that is rarely discussed between men.

Granted, it might seem weird how much attention and focus we put on our penises, but on the other hand maybe it is time to get a grip (a different kind of grip) around this subject. What do you think? Ready?

First, since the day we were born the penis has always been in front of us and in various stages of prominence. Basically, we notice it every day of our lives.

Second, it’s sensitive and needs protection. Have you ever caught its skin in a zipper? You only do that once. And third, it is a source of pleasure, usually on demand. How convenient is that?

For me there is so much that goes on in my head with my penis. I’m proud of it, happy with it, worry about it, use it, sometimes abuse it, share it, hide it, deny it, and flaunt it. Through out my life, and in various situations, me and my penis have been in all of these places. What about you?

Speaking of head, which one have you found yourself using to make decisions in your life, your big head or  little head? What have been the results? It’s a real phenomenon men. Do you agree?

How much of your identity as a man is connected to your penis? I think this is an interesting question to ponder.

If my penis was cut off in an accident would I think of myself less a man? I don’t feel I would, but I wonder if there would be an emotional, psychological trauma I would have to work through? Somehow I think the answer to that would be yes. 

How about size issues? I’m not a size guy. For me, you get what you get and don’t throw a fit. Contrary to what is hacked on the internet, a penis isn’t like another muscle that can be worked out and made bigger, or chemically induced to grow larger. It’s genetically determined at birth. 

A guy with a larger penis than me doesn’t have it because he is smarter, worked harder, or has more talent. It just is. Who cares? How much anxiety or shame or worry are you caught up in because of the size of your penis?

And let’s talk about how comfortable you are with your penis being seen. I can’t tell you the number of men I see who go to great lengths to not be seen with their penis hanging out in the locker rooms.

Is this a homophobic reaction, body shame, fear of judgment from other men? Maybe it is a religious suppression of masculine male form. I don’t know. What do you think?

For me, I have come to believe that being comfortable with my naked body around other men is an expression of the confidence I have in myself. I am confident of who I am, what I represent, and the boundaries I can maintain as man in the world. Honestly, it feels powerful to stand naked in front of another man without apology. 

At 57 years old my body is beginning to change. I don’t feel I have the same frequency of erections I used to have. When I am erect, the erections are not always as hard as they used to be. To a certain extent this is fucking with my mind. As a man, who am I if my penis can’t perform, if I can’t have sex?

In my heart I know the answer. I am still the same powerful and awesome man I have worked my whole life to become. And yet, I believe there will be a sense of loss, maybe grieving, I will have to work through if and when that day comes. Any thoughts men?

What conversation would you like to have about the penis that would help you to understand yourself better? Let me know.

Author: Todd Gorishek

Todd is a certified Men’s Life Coach, an entrepreneur, a licensed healthcare professional, a husband, a father, and a world traveler. His mission is to co-create a strong and compassionate world by facilitating transformation through understanding, trust, and empowerment. He received his professional Life Coaching education from Newfield Network, a certified Life Coach training school, and is a member of the International Coach Federation.