I hope you are all doing well…flourishing and prospering in all your endeavors; continuing to learn and grow as authentic and powerful men in your lives!
Honestly, I find it challenging, at times, in my own life to stand powerfully; to stay focused and continue to move forward. It takes work!
There is so much going on in the world…war, shortages, pandemics, inflation, conflicting ideologies of norms and values…it truly is enough to make any sane person feel paralyzed with overwhelm and fear of what’s ahead.
Do any of you ever find yourself in that place?
From my own experiences being in this place, I have learned the path that gets me out of it…presence.
Whether you are worried about your career, the price of gasoline, how much money you have or don’t have, where our water is going to come from with continued drought, a relationship you have that is struggling, or how our nation’s involvement in the world will affect you and your family, the answer to all of it is staying present.
What happens when you choose to stay present and focus on the present moment?
You are able to more objectively, without wild future imaginations of catastrophe, see what is actually true about your current situation, and plan in ways that will help you manage your future.
When we can see that in the present moment we are ok, it stops adrenalin being released by our fear of what might happen.
The body is a beautiful and strange thing. Feelings of fear, created from our thoughts about something, throw the body into the same state as if the thing feared is actually happening, which of course it’s not.
Staying in the present moment allows you to change fear to focus.
Worry and anxiety are turned into processes and plans…how can I organize my finances so I can be prepared for a layoff? What can I do differently to help create positive change in my relationship? How can I be a leader and sane voice to influence those in my sphere in the world?
Presence takes you out of victim thinking and puts you into a process of taking charge and being responsible for what you will do now for whatever is ahead.
What are your methods of presence, to stay present and in the now?
Here are a few of mine…
1. The greater the fear or stress around a future event, the tighter I keep my focus.
- In the most extreme, I focus on this moment, focus on my breath, and check in with my body and mind to reassure myself that I am physically ok and safe.
- Usually it is much less dramatic, and it simply requires acknowledging that today I have the ability to think, to find, to create, and to plan what I can do to have more control of me and what I am dealing with.
2. I focus on the natural world around me.
- When I look out over the ocean, or peer across multiple valleys from a mountain top, or look into the star filled brilliance of the night sky, I get a truer perspective of the size of my problems and fears.
- I find this perspective gives me a sense of adventure as I journey this life. It helps me not take myself or others so seriously and with such drama.
3. I never tackle hard things at night, when it is dark.
- I wonder if you are like me in this? I have thought about fearful things in my life while in bed, at night, in the dark, and they always feel bigger and more awful than they are.
- I’ve made a rule to never allow myself to tackle a problem until I have the light of day to help me see what I’m looking at. It makes all the difference in my ability to maintain a present state of mind.
- One more tip around night thinking. Sometimes I haven’t been able to shake a persistent fear at night, so I get up and turn on all the lights. There is something about light that helps illuminate presence, my ability to stay present, and push out fear.
I hope these thoughts on presence, staying present, help you better tackle the myriad of things that may try to evoke fear of your future, and by doing so, you move through life with more ease and greater joy.
Author: Todd Gorishek
Todd is a certified Men’s Life Coach, an entrepreneur, a licensed healthcare professional, a husband, a father, and a world traveler. His mission is to co-create a strong and compassionate world by facilitating transformation through understanding, trust, and empowerment.
He received his professional Life Coaching education from Newfield Network, a certified Life Coach training school, and is a member of the International Coach Federation.