As a man in today’s world why does confidence matter? I immediately see three reasons:
1). Confidence helps get things accomplished. When you need help from others to get something done, people are more likely to jump on board if you emit confidence in what you are doing.
2). Confidence is needed to lead. Whether you want to be a leader in your family, in your career, in your business, or just generally in life, confidence helps you forge ahead.
3). Confidence allows you to trust and believe in yourself to accomplish your goals in life.
From just these areas alone, I believe confidence is a big deal in the life of a man. It has only been in the last 15 years of my life, that I finally tapped into my own confidence. It was way too long coming for sure.
In the hope of shortening your learning curve on how to develop confidence, here is what I did.
1). Rid myself of any false beliefs that are stuck in my head working against my confidence.
“I’m not good enough” and “I don’t count” were the two that played for years on a continuous loop in my brain.
After I re-framed the events where I created these false meanings, I was able to believe that I am a fuc%%ng powerful man. I have found that “fuc%%ng powerful” is able to get things done in a way that “I don’t count” never could.
What is the false belief that works to kill your confidence?
2). Learn from others. I put myself in a room full of confident men. I allowed them to see my strengths and my weaknesses. I showed up strong and vulnerable.
Through their feedback and reflection I began to see the brilliant man I was, and also see my flaws that often hid that brilliance. This container of men gave me a supportive space to work out my beliefs and actions that worked against my confidence.
What comes up for you when you think of letting other men know who you really are? One man can sharpen the confidence of another man, if you are willing to go there.
3). Do things that create confidence. I participated in new activities. Part of this mindset is learning to say “yes” to new things.
When my sons wanted to go skydiving, I said yes. On the flight up I had no reservations at all. When the airplane door opened, however, and I had to stand on a very small step outside the plane before jumping, the fear I felt literally scorched my internal organs.
I had to trust and believe. Trust I made the right decision in the instructor I chose, and believe in myself to be able to step off the ledge.
Confidence is built through a series of “trust and believe” events.
The more times I can engage in activities that allow me an opportunity to trust in my choices and believe in my ability to accomplish something, the greater my sense of confidence becomes.
What “trust and believe” activity could you participate in today to build your confidence?