How do you view those wounding moments experienced in your life? More specifically, how do you view those that happened to you as a kid, and affected your behavior and actions well into adulthood?
We all have them. What makes us different is how we choose to come to terms with them and how we use them to move forward in our lives.
Guess what? After a lot of work, I figured out the secret to change the pain of a wound into the balm and blessing of a gift. It changed my life and I believe it could change yours as well.
Many of the men I work with come through the door with wounding childhood experiences. If the man chooses to hang onto the wounding event, justifying any anger, bitterness, or sadness he has because of it, then his life is going to be significantly stunted in its ability to fully prosper.
If however he can find the gift, the unique skill or ability he has that resulted from the wounding event, he will not only be free of the pain of the wound, but will find power from having had the experience of it. This is the secret! Sound insane?
I was bullied pretty bad as a kid and as a result I developed some coping behaviors to survive my childhood. One was to listen and watch attentively to others when they spoke, so I could read verbal and non-verbal cues of what was going on with them.
When I was a kid, it was for my own safety, but as an adult it became a skill I use everyday in my life and coaching practice to understand and help people. What a huge gift this is in my life!
Another effect of the bullying was I developed an acute sense of fairness, compassion, and loyalty. I knew full well what injustice and betrayal looked like in my life as a kid. So as an adult my ability to hold others in care with respect, regardless if I disagree with them or not, has made me a man people trust.
In my coaching practice this trust has enabled me to create a safe space for men to do their own deep inner-work.
In the past I used to cringe in pain thinking about some of the wounding events in my life. Now I smile. I am filled with gratitude for them because I would never be the man I am today without them, and I really love this guy!
How about you in your life? What skills and talents do you have as a direct result of “that wound”? How are you using those skills and talents today in your life and in the lives of the people in your universe?
If you choose to see your wound as a gift, how might that set you free and what would be possible for you now?